I Lost a Silver Bullet in My Butt by Barbara Blue Johnson
I blame E.L James for this. Her and her "Oh, let's use this toy on you, Ana. It will be fun, Ana" from her book. It did sound like fun and eventually I found myself at a store that sold that kind of "fun." I really should have gone with some girlfriends and not alone. It's a creepy feeling to be walking around an adult store looking at every different color dick, nipple clamp, pocket pussy, numbing lube, and rabbit. Overwhelming even. Then the pimple-faced girl who worked there came over to me and asked if I needed help finding anything. "Does your mother know you work here?" I pre-empted. She looked at me like I was crazy—I was totally serious. So I went ahead and said it out loud: "I'm looking for something small, I think it's called a 'bullet'?" The toddler then showed me all different kinds of "bullets" ranging from affordable to "you've got to be freaking kidding me" expensive. She starte